I recommend as AWESOME! But I’m biased, somewhat under duress, and will not mention what didn’t happen that time the author kidnapped me in college. Long story. Anyways, let’s see…A hero struggles against ADHD…nice paint in this room, dark, foreboding, acrylic…family problems, and the painful end to adolescence as an older teenager when his father-figure taps into his gaming addiction and offers him the opportunity of a lifetime. After the heroine sets up the gaming unit for this dream job, he stalks her until she finally talks to him (“go away”). He doesn’t follow directions well, so the cascade of events from the information flow between the two showers down like hellfire from the sky. This book is so frighteningly predictive of the events in our times, I worry that either Edward Snowden read the final draft or the author is capable of reading minds…squirrel?
Playing Tyler by T.L. Costa
“And I know in gaming, if you go at a level enough, you’ll beat it. So hopefully the same rules apply to girls.”
I recommend as AWESOME! The fun thing about computers is that they always do what you tell them to do, and occasionally what you want. But people…people hear what they want to hear and not necessarily what you’re telling them. The unholy hybrid of the two is the system administrator. Enter: the Bastard Operator From Hell (BOFH). A must-read series of pseudo-history for anyone whose job involves helping lusers enter the 21st century kicking and screaming; well, actually it starts off drooling and knuckle-dragging until they ask for help.
The Bastard Operator From Hell by Simon Travaglia
Not to be outdone, I change his login directory to the null device, set his path to “.” and redefine the command “news” to execute a script in his old login directory to send a nasty message to the equal opportunities officer, then delete itself.
Image snagged from an actual software package at mbarron.net
I recommend as entertaining. Get into the mind and the sense of humor of a Republican congressman from Arizona: Ben Quayle. As his voting record includes cuts to food programs for the children that weren’t aborted, it appears that some of his off-the-cuff jokes about his vanity and ego may not be totally far off in his failure to recognize the irony. Nevertheless, the Scottsdale nights are still young, and maybe he’ll find that smart lady he’s apparently lacking (he’s married).
Brock Landers’ Corner at the Dirty Scottsdale [DS]
Favorite Quotes (So hard to choose!):
“It’s hard for me to blend in with the crowd because I’m usually the best looking fella wherever I go, but I try to be as enigmatic as possible.”
“Flush with this realization, and coupled with the fact that I have a king-sized ego that can overcome any emotional setbacks, I poured through the numerous pictures on file at the DS headquarters and found the first lady worthy of some recognition.”
“Fellas, the next time a lady describes her friend using the terms on the left, simply substitute said term with the descriptive adjective (or phrase) on the left.”
“Gorgeous” = Beautiful
“Beautiful” = Hot
“Hot” = Cute
“Pretty” = Plain
“Nice Face” = Bad Body
“Adorable” = Chubby
“Cute” = Brutal
“Smart” = Nothing, because this adjective has never been used in the DS…ever
“Alright” = Train Wreck
“One of the Nicest People I’ve Ever Met” = Probably disfigured
“Very, Very Cool” = Missing a limb
“Good Personality” = Morbidly obese/drug addict
“Really Funny” = Run. Run like P-Nazi is chasing you
“She’s sooo sweet” = Chosen by god to become a nun and should accept her fate
Dan Savage and THE GUY SITTING NEXT TO ME ON THE AIRPLANE give relationship advise to the tough-to-love. Can appreciate the predicament having had some rude businessman on the train read my journal entry for probably the better part of an hour before my companion yelled at me, “Bettie! That guy next to you is reading EVERYTHING you’re writing!” I never realized the whiny mouthings of angst-filled 21 year-olds were so riveting.
The Stranger Beside Me by Dan Savage
I’m writing this column on an airplane, and I was totally in the zone when I noticed that the guy sitting next to me on this airplane was reading my laptop screen. So I wrote this: “HEY! YOU! YEAH, YOU! THE GUY SITTING NEXT TO ME ON DELTA 2360! STOP READING THIS SHIT UNLESS YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO ADD!”
I recommend as AWESOME! This out-of-print work (an online version linked below) of irreverent scientific -> sci/fi humor is the product of a twisted genius! (I particularly love The Descent of Man.) If you don’t mind having your brain titillated, flagellated, and humiliated…repeatedly…enjoy:
Science Made Stupid by Tom Weller