Katie’s Art of Seduction

I recommend as enjoyable/entertaining. The heroine, utterly lacking in any common sense of self-preservation, succumbs to the charms of a certifiable stalker who coaxes her out to an abandoned park in the middle of the night to restrain her to a tree for some naked fondling. As it turns out, the hero chose well, b/c she not only stays with him (a) after he kicks her brother’s business out of his property and (b) through his mocking her declaration of love, but she actually returns when he realizes how bad he screwed up after calling her a whore. At least he’s an improvement over the previous guy in that he has a job. My favorite characters are all the supporting cast who clearly are slapping their heads watching the drama commence.

Katie’s Art of Seduction by N.J. Walters

Katie's Art of Seduction
Favorite Quote:
“Well, for some reason Katie saw fit to love you, but there’s no accounting for taste.”


A Princess of Mars

For unknown reasons, the sale of this book has been restricted.  The copy I was given had no loan restrictions placed on it, so if you are very curious to read it, contact me and we can work out a temporary loan.  -BZ

I recommend as awesome/enjoyable! The hero, a crazy uncle gone off a bit more than usual, tells his nephew (post-mortem) the gory details of seemingly-coma-induced adventures leaving nothing out…from masturbating with Martian berries to enjoying the sweet surrender of the zaftig red virgin, no I mean an actual alien virgin. The story is a lubricated enhancement to the PG13 movie that left my fellow passengers staring at the same screen I enjoyed on a transatlantic flight, surprised that such a wonderous sci-fi story had reached film.

A Princess of Mars modified by Bebe Balocca (original by Edgar Rice Burroughs)

A Princess of Mars
Favorite Quotes:
“As you open the original missive I left for you so many years ago, you will find these additional words from your faithful uncle.”

“I wiped my semen- and juice-covered hands on the mossy ground, wishing for all the world that I had a wet cloth with which to clean my sticky, flaccid penis, and decided to make one more test of my Barsoomian [Martian] grapes.”