Naked, Tied-Up Paul Ryan Tells Staff He Can’t Prepare For Debate Unless They Slap Him Harder

I recommend as AWESOME! The Onion hits one right across the buttcheek with enough force to leave a red mark…And then does it again. Thank you, Ma’am, may I please have another?! The heroine, a “fiercely conservative dominatrix” serves up the discipline and testicle clamps, flagellating the hero to punish his inner “filthy liberal slut” in pursuit of the ultimate debate performance. Federal budget discussions have never been alternately enunciated with such bellows of pain and screams of ecstasy.

Naked, Tied-Up Paul Ryan Tells Staff He Can’t Prepare For Debate Unless They Slap Him Harder by the Onion

Naked, Tied-Up Paul Ryan Tells Staff He Can’t Prepare For Debate Unless They Slap Him Harder
Favorite Quote:
Ryan spokesman Brendan Buck said in a phone conversation during which the congressman could be heard in the background grunting through a ball gag in what was reportedly a combination of pain and pleasure. “I can’t tell you how this works or why he does it, but one thing’s for sure, he really made a lot of progress on foreign policy after all our female staffers repeatedly kicked him in the scrotum with the points of their shoes.”

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s