I recommend as AWESOME! The Onion hits one right across the buttcheek with enough force to leave a red mark…And then does it again. Thank you, Ma’am, may I please have another?! The heroine, a “fiercely conservative dominatrix” serves up the discipline and testicle clamps, flagellating the hero to punish his inner “filthy liberal slut” in pursuit of the ultimate debate performance. Federal budget discussions have never been alternately enunciated with such bellows of pain and screams of ecstasy.
Ryan spokesman Brendan Buck said in a phone conversation during which the congressman could be heard in the background grunting through a ball gag in what was reportedly a combination of pain and pleasure. “I can’t tell you how this works or why he does it, but one thing’s for sure, he really made a lot of progress on foreign policy after all our female staffers repeatedly kicked him in the scrotum with the points of their shoes.”